Singular
Wills
Reprinted from Kirby’s Wonderful & Eccentric Museum, 1815,
Vol. 5
Courtesy of The Regency Library http://www.regencylibrary.com
In Devil Takes a Bride, old Lady Strathmore
uses her last will and testament to force a bit of matchmaking between
her wild nephew, Devlin, and her sedate companion and caretaker, Lizzie.
This month, in keeping with the spirit of the book, I am privileged
to bring you a sampling of real Georgian-era wills, shared with us courtesy
of The Regency Library, an online research service that I highly recommend
to all students of early 19th century England. The Regency Library delivers
about 8-12 primary source documents into your email box each month For
information about how to join, click here. Enjoy!
Angry Husbands
David Davis, late of Clapham in Surry. Proved January 1788. –
“I give and bequeath to Mary Davis the sum of 5 shillings, which
is sufficient to enable her to get drunk with for the last time at my
expence; and I give the like sum to Charles Peter, the son of Mary,
whom I am reputed to be the father of, but never had or ever shall have
any reason to believe.”
William Darley, late of Ash, in the County of Hertfordshire. Proved
May 1794. – “I give unto my wife, Mary Darley, for picking
my pocket of sixty guineas, and taking up money in my name, of John
Pugh, Esq. the sum of one shilling.”
(Note: If a person wished to disinherit someone
from their will, the custom was to leave them one shilling, as in the
above example. Otherwise, the lawyers for the disinherited could argue
that the deceased was not in his/her right mind at the time of writing
the will, due to illness or senility, for example, and thus simply forgot
to mention a spouse or important family member, etc. in their will.
The ‘one shilling’ was to make certain the person understood
he or she had been deliberately left out. )
The Right Honourable Henry Earl of Stafford. Proved July 1719. –
“I give to the worst of women (except being a w-o-e), who is guilty
of all ills, the daughter of Mr. Gramont, a Frenchman, who I have unfortunately
married, five and forty brass halfpence, which will buy her a pullet
for her supper, a greater sum than her father can often make her; for
I have known when he had neither money or credit for such a purchase,
he being the worst of men, and his wife the worst of women, in all debaucheries;–—
Had I known their character, I had never married their daughter, nor
made myself unhappy.”
Charles Parker, Bookseller, New Bond Street, in the County of Middlesex.
Proved March 1785 – “I give to Elizabeth Parker (the sum
of fifty pounds), whom through my foolish fondness, I made my wife,
without regard to family, fame, or fortune; and who, in return, has
not spared, most unjustly, to accuse me of every crime regarding human
nature, saving highway robbery.”
Disgruntled Fathers
Joseph Dalby, of the Parish of St. Mary-Le-Bone, in the County of Middlesex.
Proved July 1784 – “I give to my daughter Ann Spencer, a
guinea for a ring, or any other bauble she may like better; —
I give to the lout, her husband, one penny, to buy him a lark-whistle;
I also give to her said husband of redoubtable memory, my fart-hole,
for a covering for his lark-whistle, to prevent the abrasion of his
lips; and this legacy I give him as a mark of my approbation of his
prowess and nice honour, in drawing his sword on me, (at my own table),
unarmed as I was, and he well fortified with custard. I give to my son,
Joseph Dalby, on the Island of Jamaica; one guinea, and to balance accounts
with him, I give him forgiveness, and hope the Almighty will give him
a better understanding.”
(That’s right, folks, he said fart-hole.
So much for the stereotype of the overly proper English! Monty Python
comes to mind...!)
Richard Crawshay, Esquire, late of Cyfarthfa, in the County of Glamorgan,
Proved July 1810. –
“To my only son, who never would follow my advice, and has treated
me rudely in very many instances; instead of making him my executor
and residuary legatee (as till this day he was) I give him one hundred
thousand pounds.”
(This was obviously a very wealthy man, if 100,000
pounds was only a portion of his property at the time of his death.
I wonder what the son did that made his father so angry!)
Philip Thicknessar, Esquire, formerly of London, but late of Bologne,
France. Proved January 1796. – “I leave my right hand, to
be cut off after my death, to my son, Lord Audley; and I desire it be
sent to him in hopes that such a sight may remind him of his duty to
God, after having so long abandoned the duty he owed to a father, who
once affectionately loved him.”
(Eww.)
Advice to a Baronet with political aspirations, from his Boot-Maker
From the Will of John Moody, Boot-maker, late of Carnaby Street, St.
James’s, Westminster, County of Middlesex. Proved October 1806.
– “To Sir F. Burdett, Bart. I give this piece of friendly
advice, to take a special care of his conduct and person, and never
more to be the dupe of artful and designing men at a contested election,
or even among persons moving in a higher sphere of life; for placement
of all descriptions (i.e., everyone) have conspired against him, and
if prudence does not lead him into private life, certain destruction
will overtake him.”
(In other words, get the heck out of politics.
Sentiments with which those of us enduring another mud-slinging election
year can no doubt sympathize.)
From a Young Sailor in the Royal Navy to his Shipboard Mates
Samuel Jeffrey, Purser of His Majesty’s Ship Amphion, Proved July
1812. – “To my friends, Jack Dalling, Joe Cape, and Tom
Boardman, the sum of 10 pounds between them, to pay for a good dinner,
which I wish them to have, in remembrance of me, and request they drink
a speedy and safe passage to me to the other world.
My rings, etc., to my brother, William Henry Jeffrey, to do with them
as his own saucy fancy may direct: I particularly wish him to get a
bit of my hair, (from what part of me I don’t care), to put into
a locket; And my grand request is, that when it shall please God to
call me aloft, that some good fellow will stow my corpse into my great
strong chest:—If I die straight, they will, I know, have occasion
to force me in; but, never mind, I’ll promise not to sing out
and then, after securing it well, to keep me safe from all intruders,
launch me overboard in good deep water, with plenty of ballast. And
now, as I have nothing more to give, bequeath, or request, I will finish
by putting my hand and seal to this, my royal will, 10 o’clock,
10th January, 1810.”
(Very touching. He uses the same terminology for
going to Heaven that they used aboard the ships when they were ordered
up into the rigging to work the sails,“going aloft.” Note
that the will was made in 1810 and he died only 2 and a half years later.
The Navy was very active in this period patrolling the coast of Europe,
where Napoleon was at the height of his power, as well as fighting the
Americans at sea in the War of 1812.)
Provisions for Pets
Catherine Williams, late of Lambeth, in the County of Surry. Proved
July 1796. – “To Mrs. Elizabeth Paxton, ten pounds, and
five pounds a year, to be paid weekly by my husband, to take care of
my cats and dogs, as long as any of them shall live; and my desire is
that she will take great care of them, neither let them be killed or
lost. To my servant boy, George Smith, ten pounds, and my jackass, to
get his living with, as he is fond of traffic.”
(This lady doesn’t mention any children—apparently
her pets were her ‘babies’ instead! I can relate to that.
Note that she leaves her donkey to her servant boy so he can use it
for work, perhaps providing cargo transport to and from market for sellers
of some item, or selling something himself in the streets off of the
donkey’s back.)
(This one is definitely the winner. Surely an old
dragon lady of whom the formidable Aunt Augusta in Devil Takes a Bride
would have approved! Enjoy....)
Elizabeth Orby Hunter,
Widow, late of Upper Seymour Street, in the County of Middlesex. Proved
June 1813. –
“I give and
bequeath to my beloved parrot, the faithful companion of twenty-five
years, an annuity for its life, of 200 guineas a year, to be paid half
yearly, as long as this beloved parrot lives, to whoever may have the
care of it and proves its identity; and if the person who shall have
the care of it should substitute any other parrot in its place either
during its life or after its death, it is my positive will and desire
that the person or persons doing so shall be refused by my heirs or
executors the sum or sums they may have received from the time they
did so; and I empower my heirs and executors to recover said sum from
whoever would be base enough to do so.
And I do give and
bequeath foresaid parrot, with its annuity of 200 guineas a year, to
Mrs. Mary Dyer, widow, now dwelling in Park Street, Westminster; and
I give to Mrs. Mary Dyer the power to will and bequeath my parrot and
its annuity to whomever she pleases, provided that person is neither
a servant or a man—it must be bequeathed to some respectable female.
And I also will
and desire that twenty guineas may be paid to Mrs. Dyer directly on
my death, to be expended on a very high, long, and large cage for the
aforesaid parrot; it is also my will and desire that my parrot shall
not be removed out of England.
Whoever attempts
to dispute this my last will and testament, or by any means neglects
or tries to avoid paying my parrot’s annuity, shall forfeit whatever
I may have left them; and if anyone attempt to bring in any bills or
charges against me, they shall forfeit whatever legacy I may have left
them, for so doing, as I owe nothing to anyone, — many owe me
gratitude and money, but none have paid me either.”
(To
put 200 guineas in perspective, the amount this woman is leaving for
her parrot is the same amount that an average middle-class family would
have needed to live for year, including pay for servants!)
