• Winner of the 2000
Golden Leaf Award for Historical Romance
• Winner of the 2000
National Reader’s Choice Award for Best Long Historical Romance
Top Pick:
To be included in future updates.
To be included in future updates.
I was behind on my deadline, and it was only my third book. There
was the due date, staring at me from the pages of my contract, but
like many newby authors, I had struggled painfully with “second
book syndrome” while writing and the difficulty
of wrestling that book into submission had taken longer than I had
expected. This, in turn, had eaten up some of the time allotted
to writing my next novel, and had set me behind from day one. It’s
a domino effect with deadlines—get behind in one, and all
the others that follow will also probably end up being turned in
late.
Needless to say, I was stressed out. First of all, I was still
new enough in my career and naïve enough to still hold lingering
fantasies that an author’s life was supposed to be a leisurely
one, knocking off work by noon to sip little umbrella-drinks on
the beach until it was time to go to dazzling social events in the
evening. Shee-yuh. (I’ve met about a hundred professional
writers since then, from low men on the totem pole to New York Times
bestsellers, and nobody that I’ve talked to lives even remotely
that way. It’s a Hollywood invention, so, aspiring writers,
don’t be fooled!)
Far from the fantasy, the reality I was getting used to was putting
in as many hours as anyone who owns their own business, waking up
at the crack of dawn and staying planted at the computer until bed-time,
with only short breaks for meals and the occasional shower. All
the time, I was thinking in between finishing each page that it
wasn’t good enough and that my editor was going to think I
was a blathering moron. Seething over the beautiful sunny day out
my window (two books published and I was still too broke to afford
a laptop), and feeling angry that I had to be inside working without
a swimming pool or a single umbrella drink in sight, I looked again
at my calendar, counted how many days I had left to finish the damn
thing, and pretty much had a panic attack. I needed to get a grip!
Certain that I was dead meat anyway, I shut my computer down and
went outside for a brisk jog in the 90 degree heat. I had to burn
off the nervous energy. I was so frustrated. Here I was, doing my
best, but my best took longer than a simple, slap-dash version,
and I still didn’t realize that editors actually do understand
that writers are only human beings.
From my panicked viewpoint, it seemed like I had no choice but
to call my editor and admit that I needed more time, even though
I knew how bad that was going to look. I had visions of her yelling
at me, wondering why she had ever believed in me in the first place,
and not renewing my contract! (Disaster scenarios abound in your
head when you have a very vivid imagination.) I was sure my dream
career was over before it had barely begun. And then what would
I do? I had dedicated years to achieving my goal of becoming a published
author. How could I ruin it so soon just for the sake of trying
to do the best job I could? I was sure that if I cried uncle, they
would fire me.
Well, during this jog—I remember it like it was yesterday—I
gave myself a talking to that I will never forget. I realized that
if you want something badly enough, you can do it. Throw out the
excuses. You may not know HOW on earth you possibly accomplish
a big, difficult goal, but if you first make up your mind that you
—you must—that there is no other option but to succeed—then
a way emerges. As I think Caesar said an awfully long time ago crossing
the Rubicon—or was it Hannibal, crossing the Alps?—“We
will either find a way, or make one.” There is something about
sheer willpower that creates out of thin air the object that it
is focused on. I knew about visualization, so I realized it would
definitely help to visualize the book completed, that nice, fresh
stack of clean pages that represented my best work to date. It helped.
Somehow in the space of 2.5 miles, I found my faith in myself again
and got very calm. (After all, how well can a person perform when
they’re freaking out? LOL.) In this new sense of calm and
steely determination, I made up my mind to make it work, no matter
what. I did not realize until later that this was a skill that I
would draw upon again and again in what really is a very challenging
career. My dream job as an author has forced me to become much more
mentally tough than I ever would have thought I could be. It also
forces you to have the discipline to put aside the part of you that
is freaking out over the pressure or upset over things that might
be happening in your personal life, and focus your mind on the story.
It’s not always easy to concentrate as deeply as a writer
must, for example, when there are family dramas going on.
I learned through this experience that in order to accomplish the
big goals you set for yourself in life, you’ll need to be
in firm control of your mind and your emotions. I believe this is
a skill that anyone can learn. You just have to want the goal badly
enough to tell yourself you’re going to do whatever it takes—that
failure is not an option. It’s times like these that I am
very glad to have been born a very tough neighborhood where everybody’s
got it hard and those who complain only get scoffed at.
Anyway, when I got home from this life-altering jog, my phone was
ringing. It was my editor.
She was calling me to say that due to some changes in the publishing
schedule, (another author had wimped out and bombed on her deadline),
they wanted me to hand the book in sooner so they could publish
it even faster…and help me become even more successful. LOL.
I held back my laughter and serenely said, “Sure, no problem.
I can do it.”
Words to live by. ;)
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